This is 30, Tobechukwu.

Thank you, God, for this journey called life. I wouldn’t change any experience — they’ve shaped the man I’ve become.

Here are ten lessons I’ve learned over the last 29 years:

1. Diligence

In everything you do, take pride, give it 100%, and strive for excellence. Be faithful in the little things, because that’s the foundation for being entrusted with more.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” — Luke‬ ‭16‬:‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

2. Growth Mindset

Believe in your process. Growth is a journey, and everything compounds over time. Build your roadmap but remain flexible and focused, refusing to be pressured by external influences. Confidence comes from knowing you’re no longer where you used to be, and tomorrow, with effort, you’ll be even better. I recommend books such as A Love Affair with Failure & HBR’s Mental Toughness. 

““Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭60‬:‭1‬, ‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

3. Love & Loss

Love is one of life’s greatest emotions, but it comes hand in hand with loss. I’ve been fortunate to experience love in its many forms — romantic, platonic, and familial. With love, there’s vulnerability, but also immense joy. People often believe they can enjoy the greatest rewards life offers, like love, without making sacrifices such as trust or the risk of being vulnerable to disappointment. Love is a two-edged sword with its other end being loss. Loss can come in many forms (Death of a loved one or an unforeseen breakup) however it’s important to deal with loss gracefully. Love has been a profound teacher; this will be a chapter in my book someday. I will recommend two books— HBR’s Emotional Intelligence & Dating Intelligently by Laju Iren.

“So don’t allow your hearts to grow dull or lose your enthusiasm, but follow the example of those who fully received what God has promised because of their strong faith and patient endurance.” Hebrews‬ ‭6‬:‭12‬ ‭TPT‬‬

4. Embrace Challenges

People are both your greatest assets and, at times, your biggest challenges. Building and maintaining relationships requires patience and understanding. It’s essential to acknowledge someone’s pain, empathize, and apologize when needed, without minimizing their feelings. Avoid holding grudges—none of us are perfect. When wronged, reflect on the positive moments and let those memories guide your healing.

Two thoughts — winning an argument with someone important to you is shortsighted and the need to be right is Ego-driven. Holding onto unforgiveness fosters resentment and blinds you to the good, focusing instead on what went wrong. I recommend the series Enemies of the Heart link, & Signs of Incompatibility link by “Mel Robbins”. These two have offered me valuable insights over the past month. Challenges in relationships, though difficult, often lead to unexpected growth. 

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Colossians‬ 3‬:‭13-‭14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

5. Cherish Genuine Connections

Some connections are rare and precious. Over the years, I’ve watched friends grow into the dreams they once shared. It’s been a joy to journey alongside them. Never underestimate the potential of those around you. Grow together, support one another, and never let status or titles cloud your judgment. Leave people better than you met them, a good name is better than gold. As you grow older let this be etched in your heart as relationships become more meaningful. The image below will help you critique, restructure, and refine your personal network.

Your Personal Network

6. Faith, Belief, and God

My faith is my anchor, my guide, and my strength. Without God, I am nothing. I pray about everything, and He never fails to respond. Believe in the life you desire — it will manifest with time. Trust in God, the creator of every good thing, and in yourself as His creation.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”” Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

7. Block Out the Noise, Dream Audaciously

Dare to dream, and don’t let fear or doubt silence you, whatever you cannot conceive in your heart, it’s impossible to actualize. Block out the noise of naysayers and take calculated steps toward your goals. The worst that can happen is someone says no — and no has never killed anyone. Remember, people often advise from their experiences, but only you know the God-sized vision within you. Be brazen, fuel your vision, read books, pray but most importantly don’t disappoint yourself. Be Great !!!

“I will give him the key to the house of David — the highest position in the royal court. When he opens doors, no one will be able to close them; when he closes doors, no one will be able to open them. He will bring honor to his family name, for I will drive him firmly in place like a nail in the wall.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭22‬:‭22‬-‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

8. Family & Friendships

Family dynamics can be complex. As an only child who grew up with cousins, I’ve seen how roles shift over time. Count it all joy. If we knew tomorrow, we’d make fewer mistakes today. Keep good relationships, forgive quickly, and heal often. Love your people deeply.

“How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! It’s like costly anointing oil flowing down head and beard, Flowing down Aaron’s beard, flowing down the collar of his priestly robes. It’s like the dew on Mount Hermon flowing down the slopes of Zion. Yes, that’s where God commands the blessing, ordains eternal life.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭133‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭MSG‬‬

9. Confidence

Nothing great comes from fear. Approach life with confidence and conviction. Be bold, even if it means being a little delusional, and always show up as your greatest self. If you need to start over, do so as often as possible. Never compare your life or experiences with another, believe in yourself, pride is a deep illusion, as you become, stay humble. If anyone believes they are better than you, let them think what they want. Every new beginning is a chance to shape your future. Remember, the future starts now. Don’t take life too seriously—share laughter with your best mates. Hold onto your enthusiasm for life, and learn to embrace both the wins and the losses with grace.

“Remember: The duller the ax the harder the work; Use your head: The more brains, the less muscle.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

10. The God Factor

In everything, put God first. My life isn’t perfect, but in Christ, it is complete. This is the confidence I carry into each day: that God is with me. Therefore, I believe that the best of God is never in the past but always in the future. 

“In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.” Psalms‬ ‭25‬:‭1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

To my friends and family, thank you for your incredible support and encouragement. You are truly God’s blessings to me.

Here’s to 30 — filled with faith, love, and dreams yet to be realized.